What were your grandparents like?, Storyworth question, 1,362 words

by Brian & Mary Lou Swagerty on March 10, 2021.

I was much closer to my father’s parents than I was to my mother’s. My mom’s mother died before I was born, and my mother had a strained relationship with her father. The few times we were together, I remember an old person who was missing part of one of his fingers. Once, he terrorized me by trying to put his stub in my ear! He had had bright red/orange hair, but I only remember him having slight whiffs of grey hair. He had the freckles of a redhead, but to me they looked more like age spots. I really never got to know what he was like as a person until later in life while researching our genealogy. He also was the first person I saw dead. We had a private viewing before his funeral. I was probably about 10 or eleven years old.

My dad’s parents were who I called Grandpa and Grandma. I loved them very much. My grandpa wasn’t the warmest person, but was one of the hardest working men I have ever known. I don’t think he paid much attention to us kids as I was growing up, but I was able to get to know him better when I was in high school and college. Once, I interviewed him on tape for a college project. He had grown up in Jacksonville, Oregon, near where I was taking a local history class. He told me of when he was a teenager and was hired to sleep in a barn on especially cold nights. When the temperature dropped to near freezing, the orchard owner would wake the teenagers who would then go throughout the orchard and light fires to keep the developing fruit from freezing. This was the beginning of the use of smudge pots. I also remember a time when Grandpa and Grandma came to our house to babysit us while our parents went out on a rare “date.” My parents went to a double-feature at the movie theater. Grandpa and Grandma came with all of the ingredients to make pull taffy. We had the best time making the taffy. We were in the middle of pulling the taffy when our parents returned. They came home early because the decided not to watch the second movie. We were all very disappointed that they arrived so early, because we were having so much fun.

My grandma is someone who taught me what unconditional love is. She just loved me, no matter what I might have done. This was a big difference from my mom’s love. My mom was very conditional about doling out her affections. I seemed to get as much of her wrath as her love. This became more true as I got older and questioned some of her “rules.”

Grandpa and Grandma lived on a dairy farm, and it was always a treat to go to their place. We always joined the big family gathering on Thanksgiving, but we also would visit a few other times during the year. I remember picking berries in Grandma’s berry patch so she could make a pie. We had to fight the bees and wasps for the berries. I loved to go to their farm or just to be with them.

Brian

My Mom always said that her parents were older when she was born so by the time I was born they didn’t have a lot of patients for children. I’m sure Grandma Waterhouse loved me but I never felt that she liked me. She didn’t like all of my questions and she didn’t like that I had a hard time sitting still. She called me Itchy Scratchy. She said children should be seen and not heard. One time she said, “I thought children were supposed to stop asking so many questions when they’re three”. I learned to be quiet and not ask questions around her. My Mom’s Dad was hard of hearing so it was hard to communicate with him. He was a farmer. He had lost his farm in the depression of 1929 and ended up working in a lumber mill. He was retired by the time I came around. He always had a beautiful garden with lots of flowers and vegetables and he usually had a cow. He’d work outside a lot and always come in at 10:00am for his coffee and cheese. I really enjoyed this time. We’d all sit at the kitchen table by the big window, have yummy treats, watch the neighborhood traffic and talk about the day. The cats always got cheese and loved this time too! There were quite a few Saturday Evening Posts and Life magazines at their house. That’s how I spent most of my time entertaining myself and getting my questions answered when I was there. They’d come to our house a few times a year for a week or so at a time. Grandpa always did a lot of gardening around our house and Mom and grandma visited.

My Dad’s Mom was a unique character. She was divorced from my Dad’s Dad. My Dad had three brothers and a sister, they were quite a bit older than my Dad so from the time he was about 9 or 10 it was just my Dad and his Mom at home. They were very close. I only saw my Grandpa Moss three or four times in my life so we didn’t really have a relationship. Grandma fell in love and married Carl Ober the same year my Mom and Dad got married, 1942. He was a sweet man who had pretty blue eyes and liked to clam dig. Grandma and Carl had a farm near Banks, Oregon. They had a lot of animals and they’d let me “help” them feed the animals. I love mixing the slop for the pigs, feeding the cows and chickens and looking for eggs. I remember once going to a farm around Thanksgiving and Grandma picking out a live turkey. Next thing I knew she was taking a dead turkey home and plucking all the feathers out. I always knew Grandma Ober loved me. She seemed to like everything I did. We played a lot of Sorry and other games together. She had lots of patience for playing games with me. I remember when I was 3 or 4 or maybe a little older she’d take me to bars and sit me up on the counter. I remember getting admired up there and grandma would have me lift my top or dress and show everyone my scar from my surgery (from when my small intestine went inside the large one). I was quite the attraction at the bar! She even had me do this at the checkout counter at the grocery store! My Mom wasn’t at the bar or grocery store but when she heard about it later, she was not happy! I remember Grandma arriving at our house with a friend or two along having sipped whiskey on the 3 hour drive from her house. If Grandma was visiting on a Friday night we always had to watch Portland wrestling and Roller Derby on tv. Roller Derby was ok, but I hated the wrestling. It didn’t matter Grandma was a big fan. I don’t think we ever told her how we felt about it. Grandma always spoke her mind and told you exactly how she felt about things. This did not always go well for her, I’m afraid I also have this trait. I’m learning, though, hopefully. Grandma worked in the canneries near where she lived in Banks, Oregon. One summer when I was in high school, I think it was between my sophomore and junior years, I stayed with her and worked in the nearby strawberry factory. She was very proud of her membership in the Eastern Star Organization. She was a regular at the bar near her house. All she had to do was walk across the road. She played shuffleboard and had a lot of friends there. I’m glad I got to live with her for a little while and see what her days were like. She always had a little chihuahua type dog with her named Misty. She had a few of them, she always named them Misty. Grandma lived to be 96 years old and was able to enjoy her life all the way to the end.

Mary Lou