When Mary Lou and I were courting, we would have long talks on how we felt about life. I was always amazed that we felt so similar on all the major issues in life. This was just further confirmation in my mind that we were meant for each other.
I think our first foundation is a mutual, strong belief in God. We also feel that our relationship with God is direct and personal and that we don’t need an organized religion to set down rules and act as a go-between. We all have a direct line to God, if we have the courage to look within ourselves. We also both have a profound respect for the sanctity of life. It has guided us in life-determining decisions of how we wanted to live our lives. I refused to serve in the military to avoid the act of killing and we both decided to become vegetarians to avoid killing animals. The bottom line is that Mary Lou and I started out with very similar views on God and religion. As we have sought answers to the big questions of life, we have also developed those views together. We both feel that we are here on Earth to learn lessons of life and to mature and evolve as human beings.
Probably the biggest tenant that we follow in our lives is the Golden Rule. “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” This is only fair, and if everyone followed this simple tenant, the world would be a much better place. We both feel this to be most important when dealing with other people.
We have been very lucky to be on the same page when it comes to raising children. We raised five children together. We always backed each other when it came to making decisions as a parent. Our children knew it was useless to go to Dad after getting a negative response from Mom, or vice versa. It wasn’t too hard to accomplish this as we both felt the same on major issues. I think our main tenant of child-rearing was for the children to learn that you always take responsibility for your actions and you always tell the truth. We tried to give our children as much freedom and personal responsibility as they could handle. Once they showed us that they couldn’t handle it, by being untruthful or being irresponsible, we would cut back on their freedom. This seemed to work pretty well, as we have a large loving family, and all our children are doing very well. The point, though, is that Mary Lou and I were on the same page.
Something I recognized in Mary Lou from the beginning, and something that attracted me to her in the first place was her strong sense of family. We both wanted to have a large family. I come from a large family and I loved the family reunions and get-togethers with my cousins growing up. Mary Lou only had one sister, but she always wanted to have lots of kids. We certainly accomplished that! Something she (and I) learned from her dad was to always be there for your kids. I could see that family was number one with him (and with her). I’m so proud of our family. Our five children are more than just siblings, they actually like each other and friends. I especially love watching our grandchildren get together. We get together enough that their relationships are more like siblings than cousins.
Not all of our commonality can be positive. Mary Lou and I are the two most stubborn people I know. This can be a good and a bad thing. We are both Capricorns, which is the Goat. We can be like two goats butting heads at times, but it does make life interesting.
These areas of commonality have had a direct result in our being married for over fifty years. We have been lucky to share so many beliefs. I think something that helps glue this all together is that we also feel we should leave things better than what we find it. When we visit a mountain lake, we hike out everything we bring in, as well as look for anyone else’s trash. If we all left things cleaner than how we found it, we would have a much cleaner Earth. I guess we also want to leave a positive mark on our world. Hopefully, my efforts in education made a difference in peoples’ lives. I know we set our children out into this world with the tools they’ll need to have happy and productive lives. The things Mary Lou and I accomplished in our lives, we accomplished together.
Brian
Brian and I have a lot of things in common. It has always been very easy to be together, because we have so much in common and think the same way about almost everything.
We have always had the same spiritual beliefs. It is really nice and amazing how much we think and believe the same way. Especially having grown up in different areas with a different set of parents and going to different churches. We share the same beliefs and have the same values.
We love our family and it is the most important thing to both of us. We always shared the same beliefs and ideas about raising & disciplining our children.
We both would rather not eat animals if we don’t have too. We both feel it is important not to kill animals just for food. I have to admit I eat turkey at Thanksgiving and once in awhile a piece of chicken. Brian never does.
We both love being outdoors. We like to be physically active, go on hikes and explore new places. We love nature. We both love to sit outside and watch the birds, deer and rabbits on our property.
We have the same taste in styles. When we were building our house in Old Shasta I first noticed this. When it came time to choose the carpet, counters, faucets, paint colors, etc we agreed on all of our choices. It made it so easy.
I’m going over five things because I just thought of something else we have in common that can’t be left out. We are both very strong willed and stubborn. We never give up if something is important to us. That has been both a blessing and a curse. It makes life hard sometimes.
It has been really nice to be so in sync with each other. I think it has made our lives so much easier than they could have been if we hadn’t agreed so much on almost everything.
Mary Lou
Swagerty-Aldrich Family Web Site 