I was very lucky to have a sweet, kind, loving Mother who always looked out for and wanted the best for me. She always made me feel very loved and cared for. Mom has lots of great qualities, and I admire many things about her. One of her qualities was liking to help. She volunteered for several things.
She went to our local hospital every week for many years and helped out with the patients. She’d assisted the nurses by delivering things, writing letters, reading and visiting with the patients in the long term care section.. She told me once she would have liked to have been a nurse and thought maybe that’s what I’d like to do. Her mother and aunt had both been nurses. She also delivered Meals On Wheels to seniors that needed meals.
She was the room mother several different years for my sister and my classes. I was always so proud to have her show up, she always dressed very nice and looked so pretty.
When her Dad could no longer live in his home by himself she had him move into her home. Mom and Dad moved into a twin bed in a bedroom upstairs and he moved into their downstairs bedroom. He had diabetes and he eventually became confined to a hospital bed. Mom cared for him day and night until he passed away.
She volunteered at her church and was in charge of wedding receptions for anyone who wanted to hire the church for their reception. She’d plan and purchase what was needed and get volunteers to help out at the event. She would then, set it up, make the punch, and be there when the reception was actually happening to make sure everything went smoothly. She would then clean up when it was over.
She also belonged to a church group that would have fund raisers for different needy people and causes. She made lots of different arts and craft items, Christmas wreaths, and yummy cookies and desserts to sell at the church bazaar.
I think though, that the quality I admire most about my mother was how she cared for my Dad. Dad developed diabetes when he was a young child and he had to take insulin shots every day. He had to have three meals a day that had all of the food groups in them. The meals also had to be at the same time every day. If these things didn’t happen, Dad’s blood sugar level would get too low, and he’d have a diabetic reaction and be in danger of slipping into a coma. He also wasn’t suppose to have sugar. Mom never enjoyed cooking. She learned to cook after she was married. She made three big meals every day with protein, fruit, starch and a vegetable. Each summer Mom canned quarts and quarts of fruit with artificial sugar in them. Dad always ate breakfast before going off to work and he’d come home for lunch and dinner every day. Mom and Dad were married for 58 years. When they were traveling, Mom would always make sure to start looking for a restaurant when it was time to eat. She’d also make sure to take sandwiches, fruit and or snacks whenever they went anywhere.
Mom didn’t work outside of the home when I was young. It always made me feel good to come home from school and have her be there. She did get jobs outside the home when I was in high school. She worked for several years and always made sure Dad had his meals.
Dad fell and broke his hip when he was in his mid 70’s. He never fully recovered. He ended up in a wheel chair and Mom took care of him at home until he died. His doctors were always amazed at how well he did, living with diabetes for so many years. I think a lot of the credit for how well he did, goes to Mom. She was a great example to me of being a giving and loving person, and of thinking of others before yourself. She really demonstrated unconditional love.
Mary Lou
I had a complicated relationship with my mother. By all outward appearances, she was a perfect loving mother. However, there was something missing. I have no complaints about how I was raised or for the experiences I had growing up. I was taught to be responsible for myself and my actions, to be honest, and to work hard and strive for excellence. As a young child, I thought everything was normal. I never really thought about our family relationships. They were just what they were. As I got older, I started to rebel against my mother’s controlling ways. By the end of high school, I was having major conflicts with her. My dad recognized that things might not go well if I stayed home after high school and attended the local junior college. I was all set to play water polo for a former Olympic coach. My dad convinced me to take a trip to look at a couple of colleges that had been recruiting me for their swim teams. I ended up attending Southern Oregon College in Ashland, Oregon, and avoided a year of conflict with my mother.
My mom still tried to control me from a distance, and our conflicts only worsened. It came to a head with my marriage and the birth of our first child. I was finally able to come to terms with my mom many years later in the last years of her life. I give this as background for what I admire most about my mom.
I admire that she really didn’t have a role model on how to be a good mother. Her own mother left her when she was six. For many years, she felt that she wasn’t good enough for her mother, and she resented her father for driving her away. She found out in her later years that her mother left because she married a much older man when she was much too young. Her father fought to keep his children from his wife’s mother, which my mother only discovered before her dementia set in. She had all of these strikes against her, and she left home at 17 to set out and have a “successful” life. She found true love in my father, raised four children, and had a “proper” set of friends. I am really grateful for the experiences my parents provided me. I could join most any organization that sent a flier home from school. I only remember my mom not wanting me to join the ice hockey team, because it was across town and she wasn’t convinced of my strong desire to play. Otherwise, she in the most part, said yes to joining Cub Scouts, or whatever the flier from school was promoting. My mom was the one who would drive us to all of our activities. I played baseball and flag football. I was on local and AAU swim teams. I was a Cub Scout and a Boy Scout. Mom was a Cub Scout mom. They bought us a piano, although they didn’t play and they could only afford lessons for one of us. We all learned a musical instrument and played in the school band. I also got a gift one Christmas of a monthly science kit for a year. That was a great present, as it caught my attention and taught me the major science skills. I also put together a crystal radio set. My dad helped me string a wire across the roof for its antennae. I really had a varied and extensive exposure to the wonders of the world.
Although my mom only had housekeepers and magazines to teach her how to be a mom, she was an eager learner and provided us children with a good set of tools to succeed. I think what I missed from my mom was having someone who would love me no matter what. Mom always had strings attached to her love. You had to play her game in order to do well with her, but I was provided with great experiences growing up. I can’t complain about how I turned out. Luckily, I had my dad’s mom who would love me for who I was. I am glad to have learned unconditional love from my grandma, but my mother provided me with the tools to have a successful life.
Brian
Swagerty-Aldrich Family Web Site 