Slam of a door . . . “And stay out!”, 581 words

by Donna Swagerty Shreve

This has been a family saying for almost all of our 48 years of marriage.  This story is about a particular time when this saying brings a smile to our family. That line came from a co-worker of my husband who has an interesting sense of humor.  It became part of our family culture 

I had decided to take a university math course to see if I really wanted to pursue a math minor for my job as a math consultant to elementary teachers. The course, I chose to take, was being taught by the head of the University of Pacific’s math department. He had learned I used manipulatives to get students and teachers to better understand various concepts. He was very curious about these hands-on techniques. So I invited him over to my home where I had the materials and could demonstrate a variety of mathematics using them.

It was summer time and my two boys were home and happened to be hanging out in the back of the house. I was in the family room with my guest going through various techniques that would foster understanding. Unbeknownst to me, activity was happening in the back of the house that would impact me soon. Brad had opened windows at the back to ensure ventilation for his weekly bowel movement. Unfortunately it can be an event. Because the windows were opened in all rooms and there was a good breeze, the door to my bedroom slammed shut with a huge bang. Aaron automatically did what we usually do when a door accidently slams and yelled, “And stay out!”

My guest looked a bit shocked but we carried on as if nothing had happened. My guest was single at this time and rather shy. He eventually married and had two children of his own but he seemed sensitive and I chose to ignore the incident. Then, without the ventilation available due to the closed door, the stench wafted in. Even though our eyes were watering, we carried on. If only these two events could have been enough but no, my mother is now knocking on the front door.

She never just dropped by and, if she did come over, she always called. I let her in and introduced her to my guest. She was nervous, as she knew she was disturbing us. She sat down and then started chatting. She noticed a bit of an accent and asked my guest where he was from. He replied that he had grown up in Oklahoma. “Oh, so you are an Okie!” I am rolling my eyes now. This didn’t stop my mother. She went on to tell my guest that she was never good in math and I must have inherited any skills from my father. On and on she nervously chatted. 

It was obvious our session was over and our guest politely excused himself. I then chastised my sons for being insensitive to the fact I had a guest. After that I had to deal with my mother who just wanted to visit. I still don’t know what was really going on with her that she would do something so out of character.

Just today my husband was closing up the house due to the rising temperatures and the window slammed. He, of course, yelled . . . “and stay out.” I do hope the men painting striping outside our home were not alarmed.

581 words

9/1/2015