Preface
In 1967, when I turned 18, I registered with the Selective Service Administration, as all male U.S. citizens did during that time. I was assigned a student deferment, being as I was still in high school. The United States was starting to ramp up its involvement in the Vietnam War and many guys my age were being drafted into the Army after they graduated from high school. To avoid being drafted into the Army, one could join a different branch of the military, attend college, or just take your chances. I had always planned to attend college, so I didn’t think too much about being drafted.
At first, the policy was to draft the oldest qualified first, so taking your chances was an option in the beginning. As our nation’s involvement in the Vietnam War increased, the chances of being drafted increased drastically. All male U.S. citizens between the ages of 18-26 were eligible to be drafted unless they had a deferment. In 1970, the policy of who got drafted was changed to a lottery system. Each birthdate for all eligible men was given a number in a lottery. My birthdate was assigned the number, 159. The draft boards would first draft eligible men who’s assigned number was one. They would continue on to two and so on until they met that year’s needs for the draft.
The year, 1970, was a year of drastic change for me. I was still coming to terms with my younger brother’s sudden death the year before. I had a lot of pressures coming from many angles. I was married that year, and soon we had a wonderful daughter. I was working full time to support my new family while still attending school full time. Everything came to a head by November and I had to drop Human Anatomy & Physiology or receive a failing grade. Unfortunately, this made me a part-time student and I lost my student deferment. By the end of the year, I was classified 1-A, making me eligible for the draft. That year, they drafted all eligible men up to the draft number, 195, which meant the process started for me to be drafted into the U.S. Army.
I knew I didn’t want to put myself in the position where I could be faced with the possibility of having to kill another human being. I knew that when a person came back from Vietnam, many were changed to the core. I didn’t want any part of this. I didn’t think we should be in this war in the first place. I could see through the “Red Menace” propaganda. We were just sending our young men over to Vietnam without really knowing what the fight was about. “We had to fight communism” was the mantra, but what did that really mean?
The politics was secondary to me, though, when it came to my objection to being a part of the war effort. My issue was what war is and does. I am against the whole concept of war. We need to evolve away from armed conflict, and that evolution has to start at the personal level. I realized that I could not kill another human being, and I had to avoid being placed in a position where I would be forced into a kill or be killed situation. I took this realization to my core. I became a vegetarian because of this revelation. I devoted my life to serve others and changed my way of looking at life.
I decided to apply to become a conscientious objector. This seemed to be my best option. I really didn’t want to move to Canada, as a lot of people that were in my situation were doing. I really did want to serve my country, and being a conscientious objector would give me the opportunity to serve in the Civilian Conservation Corps. If my conscientious objector status wasn’t granted, I was willing to serve in prison.
There was help for people applying for conscientious objector status if you looked for it. There was a national group I connected to, and I got a referral to an attorney in Berkeley who helped me through the process. I was to apply by filling out the following form. I applied and was refused status by my local board. I then appealed until all of my appeals were exhausted. I then received a notice to report to the Oakland Recruiting Center to be inducted into the Army.
I recount that day in another writing, but to summarize, I refused induction, had an interview with an FBI agent, and then heard nothing for over a year. Then one day, I got a new draft card in the mail with no explanation. I had a new draft classification which I had to look up. It was an administrative deferment. Evidently the local draft board had made a couple of procedural errors and didn’t want to go through the whole process again.
The following pages are what I submitted to my draft board in application to be classified as a conscientious objector. Please take this writing in context. I was 22 years old and going through tremendous change. I thought I had all of the answers and had it all figured out. I was full of the exuberance of youth. Even though I truly wanted to, I didn’t edit any of the writing. I left it as is, punctuation and poor grammar and all. I am treating it as a piece of my personal history.
Special Form for Conscientious Objector
Series I.—CLAIM FOR EXEMPTION
B. I am, by reason of my religious training and belief, conscientiously opposed to participation in war in any form and I am further conscientiously opposed to participation in noncombatant training and service in the Armed Forces. I therefore, claim exemption from both combatant and noncombatant training and services in the Armed Forces, but am prepared to perform civilian alternative service if called. (Registrants granted this status are classified I—O.)
Series II.—RELIGIOUS TRAINING AND BELIEF
1. Describe the nature of your belief which is the basis of your claim and state why you consider it to be based on religious training and belief.
The nature of my belief is my belief in God and his laws. I believe the whole purpose of life is to become one with God and his ways. The only way you can become one with God is to seek God’s kingdom. “But seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Mathew 6:33)
In searching for God’s Kingdom, you learn God’s laws of life. Upon learning these laws, you have to obey them, if you are sincere in your search.
Of these laws is the law, “Thou shalt not kill.” It is as simple as that. It is against God’s law to kill life. There are no restrictions as to which lives, but it includes all life. It includes birds, fish, animals, and of course, all men. There are no exceptions to this law. It does not say, thou shalt not kill, except for cows if you use them for beef, or except for turkeys during Thanksgiving, or except for another man or men if they are attacking you. God’s laws are always strong and perfect.
Because it is against God’s law to kill life, I have had to alter my life style slightly. As a consequence, I no longer eat meat. For to eat meat, I would have to kill or have killed for me another life. It is because of this law that I cannot serve in the Armed Forces during any war. I cannot kill or be a part of a killing of another human being. It is against God’s laws, and I must first obey God’s laws.
I believe that in every person there are two forces working on the soul. One force is the force of the body. This is a negative force which has no laws and no order. The only things that guide this force are greed and selfishness. The other force which affects us is the force of God. This is a positive force in its purest form. It is the life force that gives all things their essence. It is the energy of life. This life force has natural laws and complete order. Its laws are the universal laws of nature, the simple laws of life.
One general law which we see in all things is: For every positive force, there is an equal force of negative. There’s the positive force of love opposed to the negative force of hate. The positive force of giving is opposed by the negative force of taking. The positive force of knowledge is opposed by the negative force of ignorance. The positive force of peace is opposed by the negative force of war. The positive force of creation is opposed by the negative force of killing or destruction.
Each of these forces balances out its opposing force. In other words, the force of love is balanced out by an equal opposing force of hate. Creation is balanced out by an equal opposing force of destruction. Each person lives somewhere between these two forces of positive and negative.
It is my belief that I should live totally in the positive force, in the force of God. In other words, I should love as fully as I can love. I should give of myself to others all that I can give. I should be as peaceful as I can be. I should create all that I can create. This is my life”s goal and purpose, and I plan to live in this way.
I feel that to live in this positive force, within God’s laws, is the whole purpose of life. To follow these laws is to be positive and with the life force of God. To break these laws is to be negative and completely against the purpose and goodness of God.
I feel my first obligation is to God and his laws, but I also feel I have an obligation to the nation and society of people in which I live. I have a strong obligation to its laws and regulations. However, this obligation is secondary to the obligation I have to God and His laws. A person is born free, no matter where he is born. A person’s soul is free at birth. However, a person is also born into a society, and societies have rules and regulations. Because a person is born into this society in the United Sates of America, he has a six-year obligation to serve his country. I love this country and I accept this six-year obligation willingly. However, I have strong feelings against killing, very strong feelings. I feel it is very morally wrong to destroy life. It is against a law of life, a law of God. Because a government says it is all right to kill when it comes to war does not make killing right. It is still against God’s law of life to kill life, no matter who says it is right. I must therefore obey God’s law first, the law of the land second. I will accept and obey the laws of this government, along with the laws of God. However, when a law of God conflicts with a law of the society, I must obey the law of God. For man’s first obligation is to God, and his second obligation is to the world. It is for these reasons that I cannot with clear conscience serve in the Armed Forces.
2. Explain how, when, and from whom or from what source you received the religious training and acquired the religious belief which is the basis of your claim. (Include here, where applicable, such information as religion of parents and other members of family; childhood religious training; religious and general education; experiences at school and college; organizational memberships and affiliations; books and other readings which influenced you; association with clergymen, teachers, advisers or other individuals which affected you; and other material which will help give the local board the fullest possible picture of how your beliefs developed.)
I guess the best place to start in explaining my religious development would be at the beginning. My parents are not religious, but they were members of the Presbyterian and Methodist churches when I was a child. We attended Sunday school and church every Sunday. My father was a church elder and taught Sunday school. The reason my parents attended church was so that my sisters and brother and I would get a religious background as part of our education. As soon as we were old enough to attend on our own, my parents stopped going. Consequently, the whole family stopped going also.
My parents raised me under the basic religious laws. They taught me the Golden Rule. They taught me that a life of giving was the most rewarding life one could have. They taught me that the most important thing in life is to be happy, and to be happy, you must make other people happy. They taught me what was right, and what was wrong. This was a good basic foundation on which I began to build my own religious beliefs.
While I lived at home up through high school, I did little thinking on the existence of God, Although I did have periods of deep thought. I was a boy scout, and I enjoyed the outdoors very much. Standing on top of a high mountain, looking down in a valley far below made me think of how small I was as a person compared to the vastness of this universe. During high school I joined the Methodist church with my older sister and became interested in the history of the church. I thought about such things as how does a religion actually start. Is it because there actually is a God, or is it because people invented it to explain the unknowns and mysteries of life?
When I left home to go to college, I began to question the existence of God. I wanted to find out just what I did believe in. I wanted to find out who I was. I wanted to know why I was living, what the purpose of life is. I wanted to come to peace about these things with myself. When I came to college I met other people who were asking the same questions about themselves. It was here where I met Jack Sewell. Jack was brought up in a strong religious family and church. He was a good person to talk to about these things because he had a knowledge of the Bible, and he had ideas on the things I was thinking of. Jack had his strong beliefs, but he wanted to test his beliefs and values on himself to see if he really felt the way he believed.
I was to a point where I wanted to believe in God and in life after death and in heaven, but I didn’t want to just accept this as true. I wanted this to be proven to me before I could accept them as being true.
At this point my whole world fell in. My brother, Grant, who was just thirteen years old, was killed suddenly in a car—bicycle accident. This was in the spring of my sophomore year, 1969. This accelerated my search for God. For I had to come to peace with myself about what had happened to Grant. Was his life ended in a black nothingness, or was he merely separated from his body? If his life was completely ended, then why did he live? If there were no thoughts or memories of life before his death, then his life might as well have never been. If this is true then all life is an illusion. If his death was just a death of the body, then what lived? What is living? Where and how is he living if he is alive? These questions I had to get answers for. To have peace with myself I had to learn the answers to these questions.
Jack and I became roommates during the spring of that school year, 1969. We were roommates the next year also. We did much thinking and talking and searching during that time. We had many deep and involved talks in trying to prove the existence of God. We had talks in how life should be lived. We talked many times about our lives in relation to the world and the universe and its natural laws. I had many talks with my wife who was then my fiancee about these things also. The subject was constantly on my mind. I had other friends who were searching to find God also, and I had many talks with them.
During the Spring of 1970, the answers to the questions I had been asking for so long finally came. At the beginning of Spring term, Jack quit school to get away from a lot of emotional pressure that was placed on him about marriage and family problems. He started out in his car, and drove from our house in Talent, Oregon, down thru California, and then East through the desert as far as New Orleans, and then back.
During this time that Jack was gone I lived by myself in the house we had in Talent. My fiancee had quit school to live at her parent’s house to prepare for our wedding. This gave me the time I needed to come to a realization of my beliefs on God and about life.
My formation of beliefs came in a short period of time. It was as if I was standing on top of a very high bridge, looking down to the waters very far below. I walked away from the life I had been living and came upon this bridge. As I stood on this bridge I looked to where I had come from. I saw the way that world was. It was full of greed and selfishness. Everyone was out to get something for their own personal gain. Some striving to gain riches and wealth. Others out to gain popularity to feed their selfish ego. Others striving to be the best…the best swimmer, the best student, the best drinker, the best lover, the best anything, only so that they could tell themselves that they were better than all the rest. That world was also full of fear and hate. Some would hate those who were blocking their path to “success.” One person’s hate would produce fear and hate in others hearts, until it grew and became a part of all people involved. Everyone was full of hate and fear. Looking from the bridge, I realized that that world was actually hell.
I know I could not turn around and go back to that life. There was no happiness there. You cannot find happiness amidst fear, hate, selfishness, and greed. Where could I go then? I looked down into the waters far below. What waited me there? Should I jump? I thought on this for awhile. Would I leave that all behind? No. What was a part of me would still be a part of me. All I would accomplish would be to kill the chance of changing myself into a better person. I would lock myself into what I was at that moment with no chance of changing. That was no good.
What alternative did I have left? I could not go back to live in a world of hate and greed and I could not end it either. I looked ahead of me to see where the road went ahead of the bridge. All I could see was a fog. It was not a cold grey fog like I have always experienced, but it was a warm white fog, like a cloud. As I stared into this fog I could not actually see anything, but I started to feel. I started to feel my inner self. It started to talk to me. It told me of the life beyond. It was a peaceful world of giving and love. There were no selfish wants of greed. The wants were for all people, and giving was the method of achieving its goal. There was no hate in this world. All felling was of love, and love for all life and all things. This is the kingdom of God, and the laws are of nature. I knew that this was the world I wanted to live in, I asked my inner self how I could achieve these heights of righteousness. How can I enter this kingdom of God? My answer was simple. To reach these heights of ecstasy all I must do is to listen to my inner self. To seek the kingdom of God, the knowledge of the all one, all I must do is ask, and then listen., I have been listening to my inner self and following its advise every since then. Since that day I have crossed that ridge into the warm white cloud of God. By listening to my inner self, I have never gone wrong.
After the formation of my beliefs it took awhile for me to sort things out. It took time to understand what had happened to me. I got married soon after that, and then it was summer. The summer gave me time to think and to read. I read many books. The main. books that influence me during this time were the Bible and a book called Oahspe. Other books since then that have influenced my thinking have been books by Paramahansa Yogananda, Walter Russell, Edgar Cayce, and Ralph Waldo Trine. Besides reading, I have done much deep thinking. I have found that books are only guides that can show me where the path to the kingdom of God lies, but I am the only one that can walk that path. I have found that I can learn most through deep thinking and through writing my thoughts down.
During the summer when I was sorting my thoughts out I realized that I could not eat meat. For if I ate meat, I would be destroying life. I found out that all the elements that the body needs can be had by eating vegetables, and it was completely unnecessary to eat the flesh of animals. I also realized that I could not serve in the Armed Forces, for I could never kill or be a part of a killing of another human being. This was very hard to explain to my parents. I tried to explain some of my feelings, but this was too quick of a change to them. To them they saw me as their boy who left home from high school. While I was away from home I went through many changes that they could not see or understand. Then suddenly in their eyes I cannot eat meat. This was quite a shock to them and has strained our relationship some what. I could not tell them right after that that I had to apply for conscientious objector status. I have had to wait for things to iron themselves out a bit first. I tried to become exempt in other ways first in order that I might spare my parents feelings. I love them very much and I do not want to hurt them. When I saw that all other avenues to exemption were closed I did what I had to do and asked for the Conscientious Objector form. I hope that my parents will understand that I’m doing what I must do, and I pray to God that this action on my part will not be the straw that breaks the camel’s back in the relationship between my parent’s and me.
Now I have the answers to the questions I was asking at the beginning of my search, but with these answers I need to know the answers to so many more questions. It seems the more I learn, the more I see I need to learn. The rest of my life will be dedicated to reaching out to make myself closer to God. My search for the truth will not be ended until I am at rest in the kingdom of God.
3. To what extent does your religious training and belief restrict you from ministering to the sick and injured, either civilian or military, or from serving in the Armed Forces as a noncombatant without weapons?
My religious beliefs prevent me from killing and prevent me from contributing to any form of killing. This is one main reason why I do not eat meat. If I eat a chicken, I have to buy it. When I buy the dead chicken, I am actually paying another person to kill a chicken for me so that I can eat it. Just because I was not the one who cut the chicken’s head off, does not mean that I had nothing to do with the chicken’s death. I was the one who paid for its death; therefore I contributed to its death.
The same thing holds true for a soldier in the Armed Forces of a nation at war. If I were a medic, for example, in a war zone, I would be contributing to the death of many men. It would be true that I would be saving lives. But you must look past this narrow view of my job. What is my primary job as a medical corpsman? According to Army Field Manual FM—8—10 (page 195), “The primary duty of medical troops as of all other troops is to contribute their utmost to the success of the command of which the medical service is a part.” What, then, is the purpose of armies in combat? The purpose of armies in combat is to win military victories. Therefore, every part of the Army, including the medical troops, is coordinated toward winning military victories. The field manual FM 8—1 (Medical Service, Theater of Operations, dated March, 1951) outlines the work of the medics in combat areas. Following is a quotation from the manual explaining the mission of the medical service.
—The mission of the medical service in a theater of operations is to contribute to the success of the military effort through—
a. Conserving Man Power. Military strength is preserved by seeing that only the fit take the field, by the protection of troops against unnecessary hazards to health and efficiency, and by effective care and easy return to duty.
b. Preventing Adverse Effects of Unevacuated Casualties on Combat Efficiency. Casualties within any combat unit restrict its movement. Lack of care and proper evacuation reduces the soldier’s willingness to take necessary risks. Both can be prevented by adequate medical aid and rapid evacuation (page 20)
Saving lives and easing suffering are not mentioned as part of the mission of the medics.
With the preceding in mind, what, then, would I actually be doing toward the war effort? I would actually be doing quite a bit to increase the strength of the troops I am with, and, therefore, increasing the war effort. I would be contributing much to the destruction of lives, to the killing of my fellow man. As a medic, I would be saving lives and easing suffering of a few, but at the same time I would be helping to kill and to give suffering to many many more lives. Because of this, I could not in clear conscience, serve as a member of the Armed Forces during a time of war.
I could not serve in the Armed Forces as a noncombatant without weapons, either, even if I was clerk in an American town. I would still be contributing to the war effort, no matter how remote or removed that war is. As a member of the Armed Forces, no matter what my job is, I would be helping the Army meet its objectives, which is to overcome the enemy by the use of force, which is in direct conflict with my religious beliefs.
4. Have you ever given expression publicly or privately written or oral, to the views herein expressed as the basis for your claim? Give examples.
I believe that I should not try to force my beliefs on other people. I feel that I would be doing more harm than good if I tried to tell someone that he was all wrong and that he should be doing things this way. However, if someone were asking questions or had a will to know, I would be more than willing to help that person find the answers for himself. The only true learning that you can have is to learn of yourself, and the only way a teacher can teach is to be an aid or a guide in helping the learner find out the answers for himself. It is for these reasons that I have not expressed my views very often or openly.
However, I have expressed them a few times. During last spring I had many talks about the existence of God with a few people. As I have already mentioned I had many long involved talks with Jack Sewell, but I also had many talks with two other friends. I had many talks about the existence of God and his laws with Chris Andersen and Bob Birk. They helped me clear up my thoughts on different issues. They were a great help, and they influenced me in a large measure. I also had many talks with my wife on these subjects, in fact we are always discussing these things on a continuing basis.
Last Spring when Jack Sewell, my roommate then, returned from his trip to New Orleans we got together at a coffee shop in Ashland and talked about the experiences we had since we last saw each other. Jack and I had gone through similar experiences and we discussed them. There was another person in the coffee shop who overheard us talking and wanted to know more of what we were talking about. We talked about four hours on the subject of God and his laws.
The next day Jack and I were in Southern Oregon College’s student union. We met a friend of Jack’s there. His father was dying, and he was going to be drafted soon. We talked about life and death and what they were. He soon saw that life is eternal, and that death was only a transition from this life into another life beyond ours.
During spring term much happened. When the students at Kent State University were killed, I participated in a peace march here in Ashland. It was at night, and everyone carried a lighted candle. It was a very moving march, charged with much emotion. After the march I attended a religious service which was held for the students who lost their lives at Kent State University. The service was charged with much love and brotherhood for all men.
Since last Spring I have expressed my beliefs much more privately. One expression of my beliefs was my becoming vegetarian. I could no longer eat the flesh of animals anymore with a clear conscience.
During the fall of 1970, Jack Sewell who had been drafted into the Army applied for noncombatant duty. I wrote a letter for him explaining his and my views.
Recently my wife and I have been trying to find a church which has the same beliefs that we have. We have been attending the Talent Friends Church in Talent, Oregon. To better understand the Quaker religion, we have talked with its minister, Roy Dunagan. In our talk I expressed some of my beliefs.
I have written a few poems also in an attempt to express my beliefs. I have enclosed a copy of three of my poems.
I plan to write many more poems, and I plan to possibly write some books in the future. I feel that when you have these thoughts inside that writing poems and stories and songs come out naturally. I have to write to get these thoughts on paper. I hope that I have expressed myself adequately to you. I am sincere in my request for conscientious objector status, and I hope that you honor my request.
Love’s Sweet Love
Look at all the lonely people.
So many here . . .
So many there . . .
And it seems to me that so few people
Even care.
One person crying
In a lonely room.
Another person hating
To his own doom.
You are all my brothers
A part of me.
So let us look together
To find the key.
Hate breeds hate . . .
Fear breeds fear . . .
But giving breeds giving
It starts us living;
And loving breeds love,
Love sweet love.
Loneliness comes from greed,
Hate and fear.
Where is the key?
I think that’s clear.
Happiness is giving
Happiness is love
So give all your love
For love’s sweet love.
Searching
I’m scared . . .
And I’m not happy.
I’m all alone
There’s no one but me.
It’s a big city
But that don’t mind
I’m still scared
And the city’s not kind.
People all around
They’re the same as me,
Scared . . . alone . . .
And so unhappy.
What can I do?
I just don’t know.
People lonely and scared,
And feeling so low.
I’m afraid to try,
I always lose.
I don’t want to see,
I don’t want to do.
I’ve got to trust someone
But I don’t know who.
It can’t be me
For surely I’ll loose.
Some people say,
“Jesus will save you with his light”
But I tried that once
And it just wasn’t right
Jesus’s life
Is one to follow,
But Jesus, our savior
Is hard to swallow.
I’ve got to be strong;
I can’t be weak
God is inside me
For me to seek
My life’s come to a point
Where I can’t go on;
Living like this . . .
Completely wrong
God is inside me
I know he’s there
Help me be strong, God,
And I’ll get me there
It’s got to be me
Who saves me in the end.
For I am my keeper
For me to tend.
Whale of a Tale
What is life for?
I’ve often wondered
Does it have something to do
With the singing of a bird?
Can it be related to the gurgling
Of a mountain stream?
Or to the shinning
Of a pure light beam?
Life is all of these things
And much much more.
Begin your search
To open up your door.
Life’s whole purpose
Is to learn His knowledge.
So don’t jail yourself
In your self-made cage.
Searching to find the truth
Is your life-long purpose.
Searching to find the truth . . .
It can only help us.
But don’t stop short
Thinking your’ve found the answer.
The need of knowledge grows;
You have to keep pace with her.
When you see a glimpse of truth
It will be like seeing the tail
Of a very long,
A very large whale.
Seeing the whale’s tail
Can only invite
Your curiosity to seek
The nature of his bite.
So seek God’s knowledge
For the nature of your birth.
Seek God’s knowledge
And see what you’re worth.
For if you seek God’s knowledge,
And you never stop
Your reward will surely be
Your making it to the top.
Swagerty-Aldrich Family Web Site 