by Donna Swagerty Shreve
When my parents met Dick’s family, they had no inkling of the sorrow that would eventually befall their new friends. My family lived in the small town of Escalon in the early 1950s. Dad and Mom were looking for a church for the family and found the Methodist church in town had a boring and uninspiring minister. In our previous town of Linden, the minister had been quite entertaining and became a family friend. They wanted a similar church experience in Escalon. Our family was growing and they decided they should be good parents and provide a good church education. Dad was also the elementary school principal and it would not be proper if we did not attend a church.
My parents settled into the Presbyterian church. This was quite a break in my father’s family as they had been Methodists for many generations. Two of my father’s ancestors had been Methodist ministers. My brother and I attended Sunday school. Dad became a church elder and Mom wrote and printed out the weekly church bulletin.Dick, the Presbyterian minister, was a big burly guy and similar to Dad in size. He had a wife and two boys, the oldest one my brother’s age. We ended up socializing with them as everyone got along. Because of their positions, Dad and Dick were both held apart from the community which solidified their bond. They vocalized that they both left parties early so the rest of the people could loosen up and enjoy themselves.
As time passed both families moved on in their careers and left town. We stayed in touch and even went camping with them when we traveled down to southern California. We visited them the few times we did visit down south. They made a visit up north to us on at least one occasion. There are pictures and family movies of the various get togethers we had.
Dad was in the Navy reserve and spent two weeks every other summer on a training cruise or some other activity that was usually down in the San Diego area. Dick knew Dad was taking his Navy cruise that summer and would be in the area so he arranged to meet Dad in a bar to catch up. Dad and Dick had been good friends for years at this point but he hadn’t anticipated Dick’s unexpected confession.
It had taken years for Dick to finally admit that he was gay. Dick had been caught in a public park restroom with another guy. He was arrested and charged with indecent behavior or whatever the term was at that time. He then was fired from the church and became a furniture salesman. The incident devastated his wife as the church had been her vocation also. She would have become a minster herself if she had been born at a later time. She also had a beautiful voice and they sang wonderful duets together. Now she felt destroyed and deceived.
She could not cope and took matters into her own hands. She left a note for her family and a note on the bedroom door. It instructed her son not to open the door but to have his father do it. Dick found her lifeless body under the bed with a plastic bag over her head. Dad quietly listened and tried to give Dick a sympathetic ear. I remember Dad feeling so sad for his friend to have had to live such a lie for so long and then to have to pay such a high price.
The sad tale does not end there. The two sons went off to college and were on their own. Dick had moved into an apartment and continued his job and existence. The police found him tied to a chair in his home beaten to death and the place robbed of whatever valuables he had left. It is unknown if it was a hate crime but it was suspicious. This tragic news was conveyed by one of the sons to Dad and Mom. I do not remember if there was a funeral service or if my parents were able to attend.
They did attend the son’s funeral a few years later. This son had a promising career as an artist but had caught cancer and died at a young age. The other brother displayed many of his art works at the service that Dad and Mom were able to attend.
Moving on to the 1970s Mom and Dad were in New York City at a restaurant and there was the remaining son as their waiter. The tale ends here because I do not know what became of this son. It always amazed me that a vibrant family could come to such an end. What stands out to me was my father’s acceptance of his friend in his time of need and understanding of this man’s tragic life.
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Swagerty-Aldrich Family Web Site 