The sun was just rising, and it was a brand new day. It was a new beginning. Everything had just changed. I was a different person, but I only caught a glimpse of what that truly meant. My wife had just given birth to the most beautiful and precious gift we could have received. She was the most perfect little baby girl that had just changed the way I looked at life. It was so amazing how I fell so completely in love with this little being!
Mary Lou’s labor and birth was grueling. She was in labor for 44 hours. On top of that, I wasn’t able to be with her when they wheeled her off to the delivery room! I had to go to the waiting room and wait for word. This was the common practice of the day. Fathers were not to be allowed in the delivery room. That had never been done, and the nurses were not about to have their routines disturbed. It’s not like I didn’t try to change things.
We found out I wouldn’t be allowed in the delivery room early in Mary Lou’s pregnancy. We really wanted to be together for the birth experience and lobbied hard for this to happen. Our doctor was sympathetic, and suggested we take the Lamaze classes that were being held at the hospital. We signed up and attended regularly. We felt the classes were useful and helped us to anticipate what was about to happen. However, when the time came for the birth of our first child, our doctor had to explain that the nurses just wouldn’t bend and I wouldn’t be allowed in the delivery room. We were deeply disappointed.
To make it worse, about three months later, there was a big story in the local paper about the first father who got to be in the delivery room for the birth of their child. It was like throwing salt in our wound. As it turned out, we went through the same process with our second child. I even took the Bradley Method classes this different hospital recommended, even though Mary Lou was in Toledo, Oregon, and I was in Ashland. My partner was a woman whose husband couldn’t attend. When it came down to the wire, our doctor explained that he was new to this hospital, and he didn’t want to upset the nurses. Guess what the headline in the local paper was about three months later: First Father Allowed in Delivery Room. It soured us to hospitals so much that the next three births we had were at home.
Cori Michelle Swagerty fundamentally changed the way I looked at life. I was never the same again after she was born. I was no longer a child, but now I had a child for who I was responsible. I took this responsibility seriously, and it changed everything. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was just starting the process of becoming PaPa.
Brian
Swagerty-Aldrich Family Web Site 