Childhood Advice

by Donna Swagerty Shreve

There were two phrases I heard over and over as a child growing into adulthood. The first was from my dear beloved grandmother who said, “It will build your character, dear.” That expression would shut me up after a rant but never seemed to soothe me. One time I remember asking her just how big of a character did I have to be? Her response was a smile.

The other saying, that came at me with more frequency, was from my father. “If you are going to do something, do it right.” He made sure I never considered doing nothing at all.

His advice usually applied to the many chores I had assigned to me during childhood. If I became stalled in my daily folding of two baskets of laundry or the weekly scrubbing of the bathtub and toilets or nightly dishes, he would hustle in with a variety of motivations. If all of his incentives failed, there was always the swat on my butt.

When doing my homework became an issue, I was relegated to the kitchen table where an eye was kept on my activities. As the years passed, I was joined at the dining room table by the other siblings. To be fair, there was no room in our bedrooms for a desk.

The inevitable series of shots for various childhood diseases got all of us kids herded into the doctor’s office. I was the oldest and had to go first. It was made very clear by my mother that I was to “do it right” and set a fine example for the younger ones. Mom wanted to avoid a riot at all costs.

As much as I hated hearing “If you are going to do something, do it right,” it seeped in enough to work for me. I mentioned this to my father as we had many conversations as he slowly died. He acted amazed that he had actually said those words. I assured him strongly that, indeed, he had. My siblings backed me up on that one. I am guessing my father was surprised at this part of his legacy.

As parents, we so often repeat some of the parenting done to us. My boys will certainly tell you this advice as it was said often by me, and a few times by their grandfather,

Call it a deep seeded conscience or my father sitting on my shoulder but I can still hear that voice speaking to me. “If you are going to do something, do it right!”

425 words

1/30/2014

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