October (September?) 26, 1985
Dear Mel
I am writing this from Oklahoma City. Because of Hurricane Gloria (scheduled to hit the East Coast tonight) the Air Force decided to keep the plane overnight here at Tinker A.F.B. Oklahoma City instead of going into Dover A.F.B. Delaware. There were no billets available on base so we all had to stay in motels. I am at the Coachman Inn. Room is good and a fine restaurant is next door. You know I am not a letter writer, but I feel I would like to express some of my thoughts to you in writing.
First I want you to know I love you very much. You have been an excellent sister-in-law, a true family member. We have not always been in agreement and I know I have done things that have been upsetting, but we have always managed to work them through.
I grieves me deeply to see Floyd fighting this terrible disease and losing the battle. You have been a tremendous inspiration for him. The way you have taken care of him, pouring out your tender love and care and insisting that you could take care of him, no matter what. You are the best thing that ever happened to Floyd.
You know that I known him all of my life – of course I was only 16 months old when he came along and kicked me out of the nest. They tell me I was a terrible kid – very aggressive – wanted what I wanted right now – very noisy if things didn’t go right. Then Floyd came along – a big chubby, happy-go-lucky baby – a much more lovable kid. The trend continued as we grew up and about age nine or ten, Floyd had grown faster than I did. Low and behold, he caught up to me in size. People would meet us and say, “Oh! twins.” Floyd would be pleased and say, “yes.” I would be disgusted and say, “No, I am the oldest.” Well, as the oldest, I had to prove also that I was the toughest. Floyd would let me get by with this most of the time, but if it went too far – and he lost his temper – then I was always thankful I could out run him.
Actually we were very close in our growing up years. Floyd and I were the older boys and we did the heavier jobs on the farm. We also played together, hunted and explored together and dated together (as that time came along). I played the big brother roll – well, actually he was bigger, so it was the older brother roll – and he let me.
In high school athletics, he sort of followed in my footsteps – and then into college. With all of this, he never developed a strong self image. In face the opposite happened. Then you came along. You gave him all the things he needed. Your strong love – in fact I think you idolized him – whatever – anyway you made him realize what a fine guy he was. After all if you thought he was that great, then he could think that maybe he wasn’t too bad. It was certainly the right nourishment and he thrived on it.
Then you had children and you instilled in them or they inherited some of this special life drive that has made them special. Another thing that I have admired about you and Floyd is your extended family. Your involvement with the Rotary Student Exchange Program – and how you have influenced and changed the lives of students and families from several parts of the world. Effie and I saw some of this in our trip to New Zealand and Australia – and just recently again with (I can’t think of her name) the Columbian student, with a child now living in the San Jose area. You were and are second family and at a very special time in the lives of the students who lived with you or were under the “umbrella” of your helpful household.
If you think this is some sort of a love letter – you are right. I hated to think of this but if we should lose Floyd before Effie and I get back, please let’s not mourn his passing. Instead let us celebrate the fact that Floyd lived. Think of all the lives that have been enriched by his life. Everyone of us who were in his immediate family, who grew up with him, you and your family, who were even closer, then there were all of the rest of the relatives that you and Floyd were closer to than many of the rest of us.
I already feel a big void in my life because I know Floyd will never be the same strong, sure guy you could always count on in an emergency – but I think of all the years when I could and knew I could count on him – no matter what – and I am eternally thankful. I don’t know what else to say – I have such an overwhelming lump in my throat and aching in my chest – and the tears are starting to flow too heavily to control.
Melva – rest assured that you have made life a wonderful experience for Floyd. When we were over last time, he told me what a wonderful marriage he has had and what a perfect wife you have made for him. I agreed.
Mel, the world will not come to an end when Floyd leaves us. It has been enriched by his having been here. You can help to prove this – you, who has been closest to him – by your strength and example. You have already shown your strength during these past months. I know you can continue to be a source of strength for your children and grandchildren.
With love and admiration
Clem
Swagerty-Aldrich Family Web Site 