by Donna Swagerty Shreve
My last teaching assignment was teaching eighth graders at a middle school that was located right across the street from the high school. What made the assignment even more personal was the fact I had attended classes on the same campus. I was in the first seventh grade class on campus and was the last senior class to be on the south side of the street before the new high school was built across the street. I graduated from high school in 1963. The year was now 2003.
I taught English to eighth graders but I also taught an elective. I had taught art for awhile but I noticed a closet of computer babies in a storage room just off my room. I inquired as to why they were not being used. The only teacher who had used them, now taught a leadership class and had given up her Family Life class for her new interest. She explained how to set them up and was excited they would get some more use. She gave me a guide to what she taught and I now had to adapt it to what I thought was vital information to squeeze into one semester.
I proposed my plan to the principal and he was very supportive of the program as long as I spelled out the course and got permission from the parents for each student. I ended up with a waiting list.
The school held a Back to School night soon after the start of school. I had a full group of parents wanting to know what I was going to teach and what I was all about. Being an older woman helped my cause. Not much embarrassed me and the parents and students quickly picked up on that. I had given a syllabus with the permission slip but there were still questions. I introduced myself and gave my background. I then emphasized that I would use proper scientific terms as opposed to any street slang. I used the elbow as an example. We only have one word that designates the elbow. However we have come up with multitude of names for breast. Sex embarrasses most of us.
After introducing the videos I would be using and going over the curriculum, I introduced the computer babies. I had eight of them in working order. They came in a variety of shades of light to dark skin. Their facial features were a range from Caucasian to Asian to Negro. Each student had the opportunity to chose a baby that looked most like them. There were baby clothes that fit and car seats plus some umbrella strollers. Add in the diaper bag and the student was realistically burdened.
After I had presented my curriculum and ended my first session with the parents, one of the mothers stayed behind to talk to me. She was quite upset that I would use the word penis in class. I reminded her that she had signed the permission slip and it was up to her whether her daughter stayed or not. What the mother did not know was when I opened up the class to questions, her daughter quickly raised her hand and asked if a girl could get pregnant with sperm in her mouth.
I start my questions with everyone writing something on a piece of paper that I had handed out. By having everyone write something on paper that is all the same, the students have the assurance of being anonymous when asking any question. This girl, of the upset mother, had said she did not want to wait for me to pick her question and had just raised her hand. Ironically 3 of the 4 semesters I taught this class, that question was asked in similar fashion. When they realized I was willing to answer their questions, they opened up their questions and curiosity.
Because we were across the street from the high school there was an ebb and flow of various students to and from the campuses. Some eighth graders took high school classes. Some freshman came to our side to look for easy prey. My loser speech was usually given early on in the semester.
I stood in front of the class and put my hand into a L formation on my forehead. I said that I felt all of them were in a very vulnerable situation. I said advertisers were aiming for them constantly. The internet was full of predators looking for suckers. Also some freshmen were looking for eager eighth grade girls who were impressed they were high schoolers. Those high schoolers would then try to convince the naive eighth graders to perform various sex acts with them because girls their own age were not interested in them. We had some lively discussions on that topic.
Our first activity in the class was a group poster proving that sex sells. Advertisers resort to selling sex to sell their various products. I had quite a pile of outdated magazines from our school library. The magazines were tame compared to what is available in a general market. Each group of four was given a large piece of butcher paper that covered the four desks that were arranged in a group. The students were to go through the advertisements and cut any ad that was using sex to sell their product. After one class period, I collected them and we discussed them the next day. The students themselves were amazed at how easily they found so many examples. The most blatant ad was a naked woman sitting with her legs appropriately crossed and arms folded across her chest so she had hidden any body part that would alert the censors. She was holding in one of her hands a purse.
Later I shared the posters with the librarian who was ready to cancel a few of her magazines but realized it was a lost cause. I was able to share with my students a few incidents from my childhood. Of course I lived in Caveman Days but they were amazed that the first married couple shown in the same bed together were the Flintstones, cartoon characters! They were watching the television show “Friends” where couples were certainly shown in the same bed and all sorts of sex was openly discussed. I shared how a popular show “The Smother Brothers” was heavily censored. A toilet flush could not be heard off camera.
I was fortunate to have a supportive school district and supportive administration. The previous teacher did an excellent job of gathering excellent materials. My materials were from the 1990s so they were already outdated but still valuable. Magic Johnson did an excellent video on sexually transmissible diseases or STDs. Katie Couric made a great video on peer pressure and kids that cut themselves and those with eating disorders. Each video was followed up with discussions. Now and then I could do a class exercise that would better bring home a point.
HIV/AIDS was just getting under control when I was teaching. I wanted to emphasize the quick spread that was possible. I had previously attended a sex education workshop at the county office of education and gained some good activities and information. As each student entered the classroom I asked them to choose three index cards which were placed in piles by color. I had approached three students to agree to have a plain white card. After everyone had their three cards, I asked them to sign their name of all three. We then began a card party. You were to get up and circulate around the room and exchange cards with other students. I had 3 bright pink cards and played the game. Three students had white cards and did not exchange cards. They were pleasant and got up and wandered around but stayed to my previous instructions.
When everyone had finished, I had them all sit back down. I then announced that I had HIV/AIDS and anyone who had my card would come to the front of the room with their cards. Each color card had a special STD designation. The original players who had my card, named the cards they had in their hands. Soon the AIDS had infected everyone in the room except the three remaining students who were still seated with their white cards. They had not exchanged. I reminded the class that when you have sex with someone, you are also having sex with all of that person’s previous partners. The card game is quite effective illustrating that concept. The card game generated quite a lot of discussion.
I also had a box that contained every birth control device I was able to obtain. Many had been left by that same previous teacher. My district was quite liberal with what I could do with sex education. Each device had been disabled so there was no need to steal any thing. I had an empty birth control container. The box also contained condoms, diaphragm and a douche bag. One girl was amazed when she saw the douche bag. She commented that it was obvious that many guys were using the term and had no clue what it was for. I explain the use of each one and how an exam was needed by a doctor for most of the female devices.
One class brought up come-on lines that were going around that guys were using to get sex. I remember commenting that I remember my grandmother sharing some of those same lines that were used in her day. I, of course, was old enough to be my students’ grandmother. In fact one girl asked how old I was. I explained that it was considered impolite to ask a woman her age in our culture. I then volunteered that I was 57. She gasped and said I was older than her grandmother but I had all of my teeth.
As we discussed the pressure on girls, I had to make sure to include the pressure that was put upon the boys. It would have been too easy to make it male bashing. There was one couple in my class that had their hands all over each other. It was obvious they were engaging in activity that would receive an R rating. The girl asked me if a girl could get AIDS through oral sex. She already knew a girl could not get pregnant from oral sex from previous question and answer sessions. I asked her if she ever noticed blood when she brushed her teeth after maybe a thorough brushing. She replied, ”of course.” I then reminded her that AIDS needed a blood source or opening to get into the body. She then pushed her boyfriend’s arm off her shoulder. I almost apologized to her boyfriend as he realized she might not be so compliant in the future.
One male student lasted only a week in my class. After watching one videos that was rather tame, he went around campus telling all who would listen that I showed porn every day. The first item of business the first day was that any discussion we had with each, other stayed in the room. Several students asked me if I was indeed showing porn. I escorted the offending student to the vice principal and explained why he would no longer be enrolled in my class. He had a very questionable upbringing by a single mother who supported herself with boyfriends. I suspected this boy had seen way more than he should in his short time on earth.
Students had the choice to have a baby or not. If one attended classes and participated, they were guaranteed a grade of B. If they wanted an A they had to take the baby home for three days and two nights. Each computerized baby would cry approximately every three hours for one of three reasons. They were either hungry, needed a diaper change of wanted cuddling. The baby had a receptor on its lips so it knew if it was receiving a bottle. Two different diapers were exchanged when there was a need and the baby could tell if the diaper had been changed out for a new one or not. The last choice was rocking or cuddling and the baby had sensors that could detect motion. The challenge for each “parent” was finding what the baby needed within a two minute time period. the baby generated quite a cry when it was upset.
Usually after the first night the new “parent” had many things to share. So many of the students said their parents laughed at them and showed little sympathy. Strangers would glare not realizing it was a fake baby as they were very life like. Some students brought the baby back early. I explained that fire stations and hospitals took babies up to a certain time period if a new parent found it too overwhelming. I think I prevented more pregnancies with just the babies more that anything else.
We did a short budget lesson. I had them working at McDonald’s or another fast food establishment for minimum wage. Then we added up the cost of formula and diapers. We could add to that clothes, car seats etc. Many were shocked at how difficult it would be to finance a new child in their present state.
A saying I posted during this class was: For Some, For Others, For Me” I would have them repeat it when opinions were voiced about sexual preferences and other controversial topics. I remember their rapt attention and realized I was really teaching without tests or papers or trying to get their attention. It is so sad to me that we still haven’t progressed enough to give our students the information they need to make the right decisions for themselves. Ignorance is not the answer.
2329 words
9/24.2022
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