by Donna Swagerty Shreve, April 1999
In early January, Keith had been honored by the University of the Pacific on a basketball poster that featured four of the university’s best basketball players. He was in town signing the posters and attending a basketball game where he was introduced to the crowd and interviewed on television. John and I spent an enjoyable evening reminiscing about our college days while watching the game.
Just before he left town he stopped by my mother’s place for a visit. It was then he told us Darrell had cancer and it had spread to a point where a simple cure was not possible. I kept in touch monitoring Darrell’s progress during treatment. Keith’s daughter Kari Bren was excellent keeping me in touch through e-mail.
The doctors had talked Darrell into some treatment hoping to shrink the tumor enough to operate and get it out. After treatment the tumor did not respond in a way that would make an operation that beneficial. It was finally decided that Darrell could only be made comfortable and a side opening would help, which was done in the middle of April. It was then I decided that I shouldn’t wait for June and the end of my school year to visit. I contacted my sister Jane and invited her along. At first she thought we would be intruding. I was deciding to go by myself. Kari Bren then had mentioned in an e-mail that Darrell so enjoyed his visitors. I forward this e-mail to Jane who immediately was convinced we should go and took action. She acquired the last two seats on a Monday April 19th flight out of San Jose to Seattle where Darrell was in a near-by hospital. We knew we couldn’t make the trip out to Whidbey Island and back in one day. Visiting him in the hospital was the best way for many concerned. We wouldn’t need accommodations and wouldn’t be a burden on Nilma or Darrellyn. It turns out that he was released the next day. Our timing was excellent.
We arrived in Seattle at noon and quickly got into our rental car and 45 minutes later were at the hospital. Jane and I talked about in what condition we would find Darrell. We knew it was going to be hard for us because we had the reality of seeing our father go through a very similar process fourteen years previous. We came in a side opening to the hospital the opposite end of where Darrell was. As we were becoming lost we met Nilma and Darrellyn in the hall. They took us right to his room.
One look and Jane and I knew Darrell was not going to make the summer. His look was too similar to what our father had looked like just before he died. There was no evidence of any muscle mass and you marveled that he could even lift his arms or move his legs. Fortunately Darrell was very alert, and of course, cheerful. We caught up on events, recalled favorite family stories and heard some more stories. Out of possibly making any of the family members uncomfortable I didn’t bring my tape recorder and kept my camera in my purse. When I first met Darrellyn in the hall she mentioned that if I was taping to be aware that Darrell had some difficulty remembering things because of the drugs he was taking. I realized I should have brought my tape recorder. Darrell recalled how he had met Nilma and the events of their courtship. At one point we were so loud laughing it up that the nurse came in to see what we were so excited about. We were able to visit for two and a half wonderful hours before we had to tear ourselves away and rush back to the airport.
Our visit was 5 weeks before he died. We got to have a wonderful visit with him feeling perky and alert. We feel quite blessed we were able to say goodbye under such conditions. Once he was home the dynamics of a visit were much different in that they impacted family members who were under extreme duress.
Swagerty-Aldrich Family Web Site 