Raising children is very rewarding but it also has lots of challenges. I’m not sure what the best advise is in raising children, but these are some of the things that I think are important.
Don’t forget what it is like to be a child. Remember when you were young and how you felt about things. I remember when I was growing up I told myself I’m never going to forget what it is like to be young. The problems I was working through were just as important to me, I thought, as the problems my parents were working through. In reality they weren’t as important, but to me as a youngster my problems were important, too. I never wanted to lose that perspective.
It’s very important to be consistent when raising children. Your partner and you need to be on the same page and back each other up when you’re raising your children. You need to mean what you say and follow through with what you tell them. You need to make sure they do what you’ve asked them to do, and if they don’t do what you’ve asked them to do there are consequences. It’s important to have consequences for their actions. Good consequences for good actions and bad consequences for bad actions.
Be truthful and honest. They have to be able to trust you. It is very important to teach children to be honest and truthful. It is very important in dealing with other people to be able to trust what someone is telling you and for them to be able to trust you, too.
It is important to talk and communicate. Find out what they’re thinking and believe what they tell you. I always tried to sit down for dinner with my children. Their father worked out of town and was rarely home for dinner. I made a point at dinner every night to have each of my five children say what they learned that day. It was usually simple things like, “I learned it’s suppose to snow tomorrow” or that “I learned we have a neighbor named Sally” and “I know where she lives,” or that “my bike has a flat tire.” These topics would lead to lots of good discussions. It was great. We didn’t sit in silence at the dinner table. Everyone had a chance to talk and be heard, and we got to learn more about each other and our days.
Play and have fun together. Playing and doing fun things together helps to bring you closer, and you get to know each other better. We never had much money, but we went to the lake and went on lots of hikes, backpacking, camping and cross country skiing trips together. It’s important to expose your children to the outdoors so that they learn to appreciate nature and not be afraid of it.
The sooner children learn that the world doesn’t revolve them around, the better. It’s sometimes hard to tell your child, no, and to not give them everything they want. But life is full of challenges and they don’t always get what they want . The sooner they learn that, the easier and better it is for them. We used to sing “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need” by the Rolling Stones to our children. They hate it to this day, but the sentiment is so true!
It’s important to teach your children to have compassion for others. One of the important rules of life and to teach your child is to care about other people and to do onto others as you would want them to do to you. It is a great rule of life to live by.
I also feel it is important to give your children as much freedom as they can handle when they get older. It is important to let them go out and explore and experience life while they still live at home. This way, you are there to pick up the pieces when things go amiss and they hopefully become more mature with time and experience.
I don’t have all of the answers when it comes to raising children. These are just some of the ideas/ideals I strived for when I raised my children. I know I wasn’t always successful and I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’m very proud of my five children. They are all friends with each other and happy, caring, productive members of society. So, I think Brian and I did something right!
Swagerty-Aldrich Family Web Site 