Memories of Great Aunt Lucy

by Donna Swagerty Shreve

1903-2005

I had the pleasure of getting to know my Great Aunt Lucy late in her long lifetime. She was easy to spot at any family reunion as she would light up a room. Lucy was my dear grandmother Pearl’s youngest sister. She was born in Arnold, Iowa in 1903. Arnold no longer has the distinction of being called a town as the post office left and the closest town today is Humboldt.

I first started visiting Lucy when she lived in a retirement home in Chico. She ended up in Chico to be near her daughter Suzanne. I have heard many stories about and from Lucy over the years and they reveal her bright warm personality. My grandmother was similar in her outlook on life and it was a joy to be around either one of them.

Lucy told me she received her name from her father’s mother. Her grandmother lived on the farm next door and was married to Mr. Shove after her first husband Harris Aldrich died. As it was evident that her daughter-in-law, Ida, was pregnant once again, she asked a big favor. Lucy Mary Reynolds Aldrich Shove wanted the baby to be named after her if it was a girl. Ida agreed though she told her daughter Lucy later she never really liked the name. Lucy was born October 11, 1903 and her grandmother died November 20, 1903. Lucy got to share this earth with her grandmother for just over a month.

Lucy’s mother Ida could be quite blunt with her girls and Lucy was considered the pretty one. Her next older sister Ethel was the smart one. I do not know what Pearl, my grandmother or the oldest Lulu were labeled. I do know my grandmother Pearl was usually the child who got into trouble.

Lucy recalled a Cousin Joe who came to live with her family when his mother died and the Aldrich father was overwhelmed with farming and raising children. Everyone in the A.L. Aldrich household had a job. Joe came in very handy as he was older than the only son Clarence and Joe could do many chores. Lucy’s job was to bring in the kindling for the wood stove. The kindling was located next to large wood pile and many a time Lucy needed to go do her chore at night as the supply was running low next to the stove. Lucy solved her dislike of her chore by getting Cousin Joe to do it for her. She learned early on how to play cute. Ida found out and made Lucy make her contribution to the family by doing her job and scolded Joe for letting her get out of her contribution to the family.

Another story from Lucy was when the family now lived in Hughson, California. The older children had grown and moved out leaving Ethel and Lucy. For a while Clarence stayed with the family after serving in World War I. Clarence would wake up the household on occasions with his screams in the night from his nightmares from his war experiences. Lucy’s father Abe would be the one who went in and calmed him down. Ethel and Lucy shared a room when they could have had separate rooms. They were  close and remained so throughout their lives. 

Ida was quite strict and religious. She did not approve of dancing. Lucy was planning on going to a dance and had hidden her fancy dress at the back of their shared closet. For some reason Ida was in their closet and saw the party dress. Ida became upset with Ethel for aiding Lucy. Lucy, Ida reasoned, did not seem to know better but Ethel did and was suppose to help guide Lucy away from sinful activities. When Lucy was a married adult, she was a part of a dancing group that met on a regular basis to dance a variety of dances. She even had an extensive wardrobe to go with the various dances.

Lucy was also considered quite tall at 5’6”. Her father at one time mentioned he expected his son to be taller than he was but not his daughter. Ida complained about Lucy’s size as Ida had to keep adjusting her clothing as she kept growing past her sisters. Ida was quite a gifted seamstress and would make the girls’ dresses from just a sketch in a magazine. 

When Ethel graduated from high school, she wanted to further her education by attending College of the Pacific which was then located in San Jose, California. Lucy then decided she wanted to attend nursing school. At this point Abe had been approached by Lulu’s husband as he desperately needed help supporting his family. Abe put Wilber in charge of his ranch in Hughson and decided to move to San Jose to be a chaperone for his daughters. Eventually another son-in-law approached Abe for help. This time Abe gave Elmer, my grandfather, his job managing the Standish ranch in Milpitas after Abe had managed the Standish ranch for over a year. Abe had gotten the job to keep himself busy. 

To add to all of the changes, College of the Pacific moved its campus to Stockton, California. Abe and Ida moved back to Hughson into a house in town. Lucy now had a roommate in an apartment in San Jose. They were both nursing students and Lucy had learned a valuable technique of making her own menstrual pads. This was a huge improvement over the time-worn use of cloth rags. Lucy had very carefully created a month’s supply and stored them in a closet. When she had a need to use them, she realized her roommate had helped herself to the precious supply. That was enough of an offense for Lucy to demand that the roommate move out.

Lucy was now getting older and was not married. She certainly dated but had not felt the need to settle down. Her mother cautioned her that if she waited too long, she would be an old maid. In 1928 she married Mel Moorhead. Lucy was 24. Lucy’s wedding party picture shows her sister Ethel as her maid of honor and Marian, daughter of sister Lulu as a flower girl. By the time Lucy and Mel returned from their honeymoon, Marian had died suddenly from spinal meningitis . Lucy claims it affected Mel so much that it was difficult for him to get close to his daughter Suzanne. They also had a son Walter. Mel died in 1965 at age 61.

Lucy met and married Frank Rowland in 1967. Frank had the old fashion idea that his wife should not have to work. Lucy had worked in retail at The Emporium and was always up on the latest fashions. She was so friendly and good with people that her job was enjoyable. She kept up with fashions and was always dressed well. My sister Jane would take her shopping and keep her up with the latest fashion.Women in the retirement home would wonder where she had gotten her latest crop pants and leopard sweater outfit.

I heard the next Lucy story at a family gathering. Lucy had been mentioned in an article in the San Francisco Chronicle. Clark Gable had just married Kay Spreckels and they were at the San Francisco airport catching a plane for their honeymoon. Out of the crowd rushed an attractive older woman who ran up to Clark Gable and kissed him. At age 52 Lucy couldn’t resist the opportunity. This was in 1955. My mother was shocked at her behavior but many were amused because somehow Lucy could pull off such a stunt. Lucy was thrilled she had been referred to as an attractive older woman.

During the summers, I made trips to visit Lucy. First she was in Chico to be near her daughter Suzanne. At first she lived in a complex that had a club house. Suzanne and her daughters decided to give Lucy a big birthday party for her 90th. At first the plans were kept from Lucy. When Lucy found out, she was concerned as she had a gentleman friend who was in his 60s. Lucy remained active and was in a dance group. Her “boyfriend” had no idea he was paying attention to such an elderly lady. Lucy consistently had much younger boy friends clear to the end. Her last boyfriend told her daily that he loved her. Lucy was 101 and he was 81.

There is now a large period of time where Lucy lived her life without her first and then second husband. Her children grew up and she lived in a facility for older people. Her daughter had died and Lucy needed to find a place to accommodate her later years. Lucy had been quite involved in Eastern Stars and had married Masonic members. She was entitled to move into the Masonic Home for Adults in Union City, California. This facility had excellent medical staff and levels of living to accommodate all needs of an elder person as they aged.

At the time of Lucy looking into this place, they had a sort of an entrance test. The main building was accessed by a large expanse of stairs. Lucy now used a walker on occasion and felt the need to get acceptance into this complex while she was still able to go up stairs. She went for her interview and made it up the stairs. Her first room was temporary as her next room was not yet set up. Both my sister Jane and I visited her at her first room and were not happy at what we saw. Lucy was trying to be accommodating so she would not be known as a complainer. the delay seemed to be the movers were not available.

Jane and I fixed that problem by serving as the movers. We were able to obtain a cart and started loading it up. We set up her new room to be as attractive as possible. It was basically a studio bedroom. We decided a three panel screen would be an excellent divider between her bed and living area. We had Lucy help us pick out photos that she would enjoy seeing each morning and evening and enlarged them to fit into the frames on the screen. The screen was positioned at the end of her bed and blocked the living space. Lucy was now in the assisted living section where her medications were monitored and she could receive any other help she needed.

As soon as Lucy moved into this facility she made efforts to get involved in the variety of activities offered. I have a pair of ear rings she made in crafts. When the annual Super Bowl arrived, Lucy went to the large lounge area where the large television was available to bigger groups. She found herself alone as there were few football fans interested in viewing the big game. Lucy was quite disappointed. As she went to and from the many events, Lucy tended to speed in her motorized wheelchair. The people in charge had to put a governor on her chair so she would be a danger to herself or others.

During this period Lucy never hesitated to turn down an invitation to attend plays or family gatherings. Our family got to have Lucy witness Brad’s various play performances in Santa Rosa and Santa Cruz. She attended my son Aaron’s wedding in Stockton with help from Jane for transportation. Thanksgiving for her sister Pearl relatives was held in Stockton and Lucy did not hesitate to be there. She had to go to some effort lining up transportation and taking her medications with her. Annually Lucy stayed with a niece in the Monterey area. Finally the niece had to cancel the annual visit because the much younger niece was no longer able to physically keep up.

She stayed the longest in this room and made friends quickly. My sister lived across the bay and was able to visit her regularly. Jane checked in with the attendants and got known. When Lucy had review meetings where decisions were made about her care, Jane or I would be there. She had regular medical check ups at the facility usually from retired doctors who still wanted to practice but on a smaller scale. One doctor commented that he wished he had been a mason so he could have the privilege of living there.

After Lucy had been living there a few years, a doctor found a possible cancerous growth in her throat. She was referred to a specialist and Jane and I went with her. We had planned to take her to lunch after the appointment. The specialist confirmed that she did indeed have a small growth of some sort. He would only know if it was cancerous if he operated and removed it. He then recommended doing nothing as it was slow going and Lucy was in her 90s. He was convinced something else would get her and not this growth. We then went on to a wonderful restaurant to celebrate the good news. Lucy was now in a wheelchair as she was not steady on her feet and she had fallen a few times. 

Lucy decided to spend some her remaining money on a cruise with her granddaughters. She applied but was refused when the cruise personal found out her advanced age. They did not want her passing away on their ship. So she went to Monterey instead and stayed at a fancy hotel and went to expensive restaurants for a fun weekend with her granddaughters.

Fortunately she had a portable wheelchair that folded up and fit into a car trunk for easier transportation. Brad, my son, was living in Santa Cruz at the time and he came three years in a row to take Lucy out to lunch on Valentine’s Day. He showed up with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, Lucy was so appreciative and Brad certainly enjoyed their dates. One of her favorite restaurants was the Elephant Bar in nearby Fremont. Various family members would take Lucy to this restaurant. The manager soon knew her name and would make a fuss if he was there when she was. She ordered a root beer float which was not on the menu. She explained how to make it and it arrived without a extra long spoon. Uncle Clem and Aunt Effie were her dates this time. Clem did not hesitate to ask for the waiter to find a long spoon. The manager explained they did not have such a utensil but he taped two spoons end to end so Lucy could have a proper root beer float spoon. Lucy received special treatment on many occasions because people wanted to please her. She was that charming.

Lucy was a well seasoned flirt. I recall a family gathering for Uncle Clem’s 70th birthday. I had arrived with my mother and John was arriving separately with Aaron, our oldest, on his motorcycle. I happened to be talking to Great Aunt Lucy when John and Aaron made their entrance. They both were wearing black leather jackets and holding their motorcycle helmets. Lucy turned to me and asked who was that good looking man. I replied that it was my husband and he was off limits. She was always looking and appreciating any good looking and/or charming man. She flirted with her doctors clear up to the end of her life.

During her stay at the Masonic Home for Adults, she received emails from friends and relatives. I was researching her Aldrich line at the time and belonged to the National Aldrich society. One of the members was a man only a year younger than Lucy. I told each of them about each other because they grew up in similar times. Willard was quite enchanted with Lucy as was she with him. I enjoyed being the connection between them. One of the services of the home was a volunteer who received all of the residents emails who wanted the service. The volunteer then printed out the email message and delivered it to the resident. If the resident wanted to reply, she would help them return the messages. This was in the very early years of the 2021 century and there was not a huge demand. Lucy was certainly up for the new innovation. At Lucy’s service, that same volunteer came up to me and said she was going to miss the Willard and Lucy exchange. Three weeks before her death Lucy played bridge. She was proud that her body might be failing but she had not “lost her marbles”, as she put it.

I believe her celebration of life was well done as was the ceremony at her grave site. Jane and I had brought roses to put on top of her casket. The cemetery was quite busy on the day of her service. The cemetery workers were anxious for us to leave so they could lower her casket and use the device on another burial. We chose to stay and after her casket was lowered, we shared the roses with other relatives and we gently threw them onto her lowered casket. Her daughter in-law held a reception at their home. The special touch was providing various cookie recipes that Lucy had baked throughout her lifetime. Lucy had gotten her recipes from her mother. Walt’s wife, Pat, even provided copies of the cookie recipes. 

Lucy at the ripe old age of 101&1/2, declared to her family that she was tired. She knew her rights and knew she did not have to take her daily medications or even get out of bed. She had decided it was time to go. She said she was at peace with her God, had lived a good life, and was not afraid to die. Her belongings had been divided up so there were no loose ends. She had told Jane what outfit she wanted to be buried in and even which wig she preferred. Lucy was now done. She had gathered her family to her bedside Saturday and Sunday. By Monday at 6:00 A.M. in the morning, she was gone. I wish when it is my time, I can be as lucky.

3065 words

9/7/2024

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