Tragic Week

by Donna Shreve

Ann LaRue Matlow May 2023

I recently had quite a tragic week. On Monday our dear sweet beautiful cat Ernie had to be put out of his misery due to a nasty cancer that took him from a skinny 11 pounds to a skeletal 6 pounds. There will be an empty space in our home for awhile.  Wednesday John’s younger brother Mack died at a VA home in New Mexico. His death was expected but sad none the less. John has been his guardian for the last several years and now John had a lot of paper work and arrangements to complete. As I packed for a trip to New York City in a few days, I received another blow bigger than the previous. My dear childhood friend and one of my longest friends ever, let me know through email that she would be taken off life support at the beginning of the next week. I read this shocking news Friday evening. Sleep was not going to happen. I then started reading the 948 emails Ann and I had exchanged since 2007. There were many other communications between us but these emails were available. I read past midnight which is extremely late for me. In the morning I wrote a good bye email recalling our various adventures through out the years. It had to be one of the most difficult things I have had to do. It was never a question of if but how to say farewell to a dear friend.

Thanks but no improvement. I’m going off life support probably early next week. That will be the end. 

I have loved having you as my earliest and life long friend. 

I love you and John too. 

Ann

You have been a true friend and a fellow adventurer on so many different endeavors. I am flashing back on so many good times. I am having trouble finding the words but know  that I love you  also. My father told me that he would never die as long as we remembered him. You are going to live on as we all remember you. I will try to write my memories of you so others can know what a special, smart ,kind and witty person you are. Please go with a smile on your face.

Forgive me for telling Linda but she is the only one I will share from our past. I chatted with Dave who was most gracious with an update. I also chatted with your brother. John and I chatted for a good 20 minutes with updates about your condition and memories. He shared the story of you getting your first driving license in Stockton. John said he ran up to your mother’s car and asked if you had flunked. What John did not know is that you had just been told you had failed the driving test. The instructor took pity on you having such a jerk for a brother and passed you. It helped both of us to have a good laugh.

Last night when I received your email, I went through all of the emails I have saved that we have sent through the years. Starting in 2007 we communicated over 948 times. I read past midnight and more this morning. I am still not finished. The emails bring up so many wonderful memories over the years. You encouraged me to vent about Warren and others. It was so helpful for me to let go of the toxin and you claimed you were amused. You were good about your suggestions on how I could be above the fray. 

We exchanged so many recommendations over the years for good books, movies and television series. We entertained each other through the pandemic. We exchanged such an assortment of gifts for birthday and Christmas. You were always so generous hosting me when I visited NYC through the years. You were the reason for my first visit all those years ago. You asked if I would be willing to fly on your airline points and stay in your apartment. How could I say no? By the time Brad moved to NYC I was functional on the bus and subway. 

Campfire girls gave us so many memories that shaped our character with various WoHeLo adventures. You are embedded in my life. You dated John before I did. You returned the favor with Dwiggins! You have always been so good about attending reunions. There were some reunions I might not have attended without your encouragement. We were a lethal combination when we wanted to be. A few boys would agree.

I can go on and on but you hopefully get the idea.You are a very special friend to me and I am honored you let me say good bye.

Love, 

Donna  

To add to this drama, I received the final phone call from Ann’s brother John on Monday as I was in the eye doctor’s office getting a temporary contact lens. It is a soft lens that was so different from what I was used to. I was practicing putting in the taking out the lens and it was not going well. I received two phone calls from John and I had a feeling  what it was about. By the third call I told my technician I really needed to take the call so the poor brother could get on with other calls. I took the call and received the expected news. Then I got back into the car and off we went to start our trip to NYC where Ann was no longer. I waited a few days and then composed a letter to Ann’s husband and received another call from John, Ann’s brother. As of now Dave has tentatively set the memorial in Connecticut for July 14th, a Sunday. 

966 words

5/14/2024

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