by Donna Swagerty Shreve
I have put my DNA out there through three different companies. So far I have not received much more information about my family tree. However, twice I was faced with a moral dilemma when someone reached out and found me.
The first contact was from a woman from Vietnam. One of my cousins had been in the Navy and left his DNA behind. At first I gave evidence that none of my male first cousins could have been that person. Then I realized that DNA doesn’t lie but it can be confusing. My father used to say he had double cousins. His father’s brother had married his mother’s sister. When I solved the inquiry, I decided it wasn’t my tale to tell. The Vietnamese woman had enough DNA information to direct her to her grandfather without my additional input.
The second contact came just this last month. A second cousin, once removed, reached out because I lived where her father was born. Her father was my second cousin. I had never heard of the surname and had to do some digging to discover our connection. She made it very clear she had little respect for her birth father. Due to his misdeeds, she ended up in foster care. She provided what little she knew and I now was able to make the connection. As I dug more into the public records, the tale became more nefarious. How much did she really want to know?
Again I went back to my family photo of 1909 taken of the Swagerty family in Jacksonville, Oregon. The family story was that one of the reasons the family was moving away from Oregon was to get one of their daughters away from her boyfriend. The boyfriend ended up following them and marrying the daughter. Over the years I heard more and more stories from this faction of the family. They were not good stories and it seems each generation added to the dirt. Again how much do I share? She claimed she was really interested in health history as she had had cancer in her 30s. I did share my family web site (swagertystories.com) so she could read all she wanted about our shared family. I even sent her a copy of the 1909 photo taken in Oregon that was proof of our DNA connection.
DNA has opened up so many possibilities for all of us. I try to keep to celebrating my family’s better traits and not revealing the dirt as I was not wanting to hurt feelings. Several tales have been told to me by relatives that asked for my secrecy until they were gone. I chose not to reveal many of those stories even when I was relieved of my promise. There are plenty of tales to tell without making a soap opera out of it. I am not trying for a big social media presence with salacious tales but I prefer to tell family stories that I know will give insight to our family and provide humor and understanding.
521 words
5/29/2025
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