College Dorm Pranks, 919 words

Knock! Knock! Knock! Someone was banging loudly at our dorm room door. I bolt up from my dreamland slumber to see our door ablaze in flames! Panic time! Bolt out the window? Try to open the door? The flames are no longer streaking up the door, so I opt for the latter. To my distress, there isn’t a big dorm fire. I’ve been pranked! A group of dorm mates are laughing it up at my expense! They had pulled off another practical joke to someone in the dorm by squirting lighter fluid under the door and lighting it. As long as not too much lighter fluid is used, it will evaporate in a burst of flames. This was the latest of tricks that was used to put one over on someone. It didn’t work so well later when it was tried again on someone who had a towel under the door. The towel burst into flames and started to burn the door before it could be put out.

One time, a pair on the third floor opened their door, or tried to open it. When they finally succeeded, they faced a room brimming full of balloons. There was no empty space; it was filled completely with balloons. The balloons came spilling out the door, filling the hall, and spilling down the stairwells on both ends of the floor. Soon the balloons were spilling down to the second and first floors. Some of them even ended up in the lobby below the first floor.

Life in a men’s dorm can be interesting, to put it mildly. Occasionally, someone would have their bed, short-sheeted. Their bed would be remade so that the unsuspecting victim couldn’t get into their bedding. Once, someone had wrapped the top of the toilet bowl with saran wrap. I think that prank was foiled. Another time, there was quite a stir and everyone had to go see the spectacle in the bathroom. Someone had taken the largest dump in human history! We all marveled at its size and wondered how it was even possible. Maintenance had to be called in to empty the toilet.

The biggest joke was played on our RA. Roger was a very charismatic leader. He was recently a Marine, and the military sheen hadn’t worn off. He had freshly pulled off a successful paramilitary operation with most us as his soldiers. We burned down our rival school’s homecoming bonfire the night before it was supposed to be lit. Not surprisingly, he was pretty popular with his charges. Roger was coming up on his 21^st birthday, and we wanted to make sure we pulled off something epic to mark the occasion. We knew he had plans to go out bar hopping with some of his older friends. This was our opportunity.

Somehow, we had a way to get into his room. Once he left for his night on the town, we quickly got to work. We completely moved his belongings out of his room and reformed it in the bathroom. His bed was in the middle with the head oriented toward the sinks and the foot at the toilets. One of the bathroom stalls served as his closet and had his clothes hanging across it. His bed stand was positioned as it had been in the bedroom. We did a pretty good job of replicating his dorm room in the bathroom.

Once we had his dorm room vacated and reset in the bathroom, we had a smoke-out in his room. We all entered the room with some sort of smoking material. I had a pipe and tobacco. Some had cigars, some cigarettes. There may have been other things like pot to smoke as well, but that wasn’t in the open, and I was pretty naïve at the time. The challenge was to be the last person in the room. We put a towel under the door to keep the smoke inside. One by one, people would drop out. The smoke got really thick. In the end, Steve and I were the last two remaining. I’m pretty competitive and wouldn’t give up. Neither would he. We decided to go out together, but I think I was actually the last one of to take the last step out.

Now the stage was set. Most of us heard about what happened, during breakfast the next morning. As predicted, Roger arrived home late and in a drunken condition. He said that when he opened his door, he couldn’t figure out what had happened. He thought that someone had blown his room out with a grenade. He didn’t know what to do and finally the alcohol drove him to the bathroom. When he opened the door, he was surprised and confused and eventually flopped onto his bed, but soon he couldn’t sleep because the light was on. Our bathroom light was always on. It didn’t even have a switch. He finally solved his light problem by breaking the light globe and unscrewing the light bulb.

Somehow, we all survived that year without serious injury. I’m so glad I didn’t decide to attend my local junior college. I’m sure I would have had a similar academic experience, and playing water polo for an Olympic coach would have been amazing. But, I wouldn’t trade my freshman year at Southern Oregon College and living in the dorm for anything. Moving away from home and being completely on your own was an amazing experience that I wouldn’t have received by staying at home.

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